This has been a pretty "quiet" month for my husband and I. It definitely hasn't been dull. With our two wacky personalities, there will never be a dull moment in our household. Anyhoozle. With the flu bug that's been going around, energy levels have been kinda low. I haven't really had the energy to attack the city as I normally would have. For the sake of my health, I passed up a few networking and FW party invites, but I definitely know it was a wise decision in the long run. I just looked at my calender for next month, and I have something booked almost every other day: rehearsals, meetings, classes, auditions, performances. This month's "down-time" is so I can be fully energized for next month, 'cause I'm definitely gonna need it.
I did a short temp gig this week, and am grateful for the extra cash. Between Valentine's Day and our friends' wedding this week, my husband and I shelled out cash like we were millionaires already. Shoot, no regrets though. We had a blast, and it was well worth it. Love period is worth it. Even though we're not millionaires (yet), we got together with our friends and partied all day and night on Tuesday to celebrate our other friends' wedding like none of us had jobs or a care in the world. It's funny, 'cause we really didn't. You get twenty-something folks in their 20s and 30s to take over a restaurant in Tribeca in the middle of the day on a Tuesday, you know it's something special.
There's something truly mind-blowing when you reach a certain age and all your past hang-ups, worries, anxieties, and fears either seem really, really small or nonexistent. When I compare this time of my life to my college years, I think "Jeez, how nerve-wrecking that was!" Yeah, I had a blast, but I don't want to go thru those times and feelings again.
I sometimes get impatient and think, "Aargh, why is everything moving so slow?" or "If I push myself to do XYZ, things will be different." But then something will click and I think, "Nope, everything is happening the way it's supposed to." I have to remind myself that other peoples' journeys are not my own, that other peoples' paths to their own "success" is different than mine. What is meant for me is bigger and better than what I can imagine for myself, and that everything will happen in its own time. I have my Vision Board. I use The Law of Attraction. I'm all about Creative Visualization. I'm not gonna lie though, I often wonder "What's next? What surprises are out there waiting for me?"
When I get out into the giant bubble of stardom and fame, when I'm out there on the stage or the big screen, what stories do I want to tell? What's my iconic moment? What will be my most memorable performance? Who will my audience be? How will they see me? How do I want to be seen? These are some deep questions, and I know those answers and moments have yet to come. In the meantime, I will enjoy this "quiet" time, and bask in the joy and love from my hubby and friends, and in the knowledge that these are the best years, and they only get better.
